Ma always said it best, “When it rains it pours.” I always took that literally, and it was fitting for the moment I reunited with my sister. The clouds just let loose on us, and we were soaked within seconds. What I didn’t know was the metaphorical context to which that phrase could be applied, the raining within the soul, that rain is harder to bear than the natural. Vera had always been a happy go lucky girl. Things seemed to always fall in her favour and she reminded me of Joseph with his coat of many colours, only she didn’t have envious siblings. We always looked out for her and were supportive of her good decisions. She was the pretty one in the family and never had trouble attracting boys. She was smart and had good ambitions, even though she was two years younger than me, she completed her degree before I did; for a rural girl in this harsh country, that was an awesome achievement. One thing I admired about her was her free spirit. Nothing ever got her down, and if there was something that bothered her, she didn’t let it bother her for long. Something was wrong though, something that put me in my big-sister protective role.

She had an unsightly swelling on the left side of her face, signs that her cheek had an unplanned encounter with a blunt object, perhaps more that once in a short period of time. Her eye couldn’t fully close because it too was badly swollen. I would have noticed the tears streaming from her face were it not for the rain falling so heavy on us & I know she would have noticed mine too. She didn’t have to tell me what had happened, it was painfully written on her face. The welts on her arm as well as the scars & bruises told a well detailed story. I remember thinking how sad that situation was; it took such physical violence for her to remember her way home. The most important thing at that moment was that she was home. As much as I wanted to know what happened to her, I had to wait for her to stop sobbing before I could ask. In freemasonry, I lowered myself, hunched over her & embraced her.

“Diana,” mom called out for me, “Diana, you’re too old to be playing in the rain. Get inside” I guess I’d been out for a little too long; long enough to get her worried about me.

“Dee, you can’t let her see me like this. I have to hide somewhere until the swelling goes down.”

I would have felt the same way. I know she would have loved to feel mom’s embrace at a time like that, but at the same time, she did not want to cause her any stress. I had to respond quickly to avoid ma coming to where we were. “I’ll be there in a bit mamma,” I yelled, “the mule broke out of the kraal so I had to keep him away from the crop.” I hate lying to her, but I had no choice. “Quick, get into my room and take a short nap. I’ll go and make tea for ma then I’ll come to you. I need to know exactly what happened to you, so you better quit your crying quick.”

As I walked back to the main hut, I felt a heaviness setting in on my feet so naturally I walked a little slow. I thought it was because of the mud that had accumulated on them, but looking back, I have a feeling it was because I didn’t want to be away from my sister. It was only for a short little while but I knew that she came back home because she wanted to feel loved, she wanted to feel a familiar closeness. I know how it is to need someone to be there close to you yet be met with the cold embrace of solitary confinement. This brief experience adduced my own sadness from five years ago, a time when I had needed Vera the most but she was no where to be found. It rained on that day too, and similarly I felt that no matter how hard the rain fall, it could never wash away the dirt I felt.

“My goodness child did you go swimming in your clothes?” mom exclaimed as I wiped the mud off my feet at the door. “It sure is falling heavy out there and with no warning too. I hope we get steady rains for a couple of months to at least give our crop a chance at to survive till the harvest.”

“I sure hope so too mom, it would be nice to be able to sell some sugar cane like we used to.”

Her countenance changed when I mentioned selling sugar cane. Her face elongated and her bright smile disappeared like morning dew on a hot summer’s day. “What’s wrong mom? Are you alright?”

“I’m alright my dear - I just had a nostalgic moment when you mentioned selling sugar cane. That’s what I was doing the day Vera left.” My heart skipped a beat. “It’s been six years and nine months you know, and I still haven’t heard from her. I sometimes dream that she’s in trouble, that she’s hurting somewhere but feels like she can’t come back. I wonder if she’s even alive.” My heart sank. I could hear the pain in her voice as she said this, and I could see the pain in her eyes. I wanted to tell her not to worry, but at the same time I didn’t want her to stress after seeing her in that state. “I’m sure she’s fine where ever she is ma,” I said as I snapped the twigs to start the fire. “You raised us remember? We’re strong because of you and we can take care of ourselves.”

She sat and stared at the kettle in the fire, fanned it a little and said, “You are right, I raised you to be strong, but you can’t take care of yourselves. Along the way you picked up pride and stubbornness from your aunt, so I’m afraid for you girls. Out of the three of you, I worry the least about Paula.” She paused for a few seconds, and as I slipped some bread into a small bag, I noticed her eyes watering. “You and Vera just didn’t get it the way Paula did. You are no match for men. That’s why I’m always so afraid for you two.”

Some things ma said where hurtful, but one thing I always respected her for speaking the truth. As I watched the tears welling in her eyes, I felt mine run obstreperously down my cheek. I thought of what had just happened to Vera, I thought of what had happened to me five years ago. I was overcome with a sensation of worthlessness. Recalling all the things mom had tried so hard to teach us, and in our seemingly wise foolishness we were bent on rebelling against her, just to prove her wrong. Vera’s struggle and mine were different, but they both stemmed from the same seed. I poured out the tea for ma, and gave her the last two slices of bread. “Will you be needing anything else ma? I want to get into some dry clothes and lie down for a little while before I make dinner. I have a slight headache.”

“No my child, I’m well satisfied for now. I think I’ll do some knitting in here while it rains. You go ahead and rest. It’s been a long day for you.”

With that I grabbed the small bag with the bread and made haste through the pouring rain to my hut. I opened the door slowly thinking Vera may have been asleep, but I found her sitting on the bed in the process of changing her wet clothes too. She had just removed her blouse too, with her back to the door. I froze because of what I saw. The bag dropped to the floor along with my jaw. “Oh my goodness Vera, what happened to your back!?!” What mamma said was true, when it rains it pours.

abstract by Tedd V - to be continue on Dec 27